Kesha's "Top Ten Workplace Pet Peeves"
...anyone with an office job position will "Amen" me with these. I guess you can say, I have a lot of issues...:
- I activate my "Get out of Jail" card at 5:00 in the p.m. At a quarter-til, do not present me with issues.
- Do not approach me with "i know you're on lunch break" issues ON MY LUNCH BREAK. You will be ignored.
- By the same token, if you "hate to bother" me, then Don't!
- Do not cc me on issues not pertaining to me or my job category (data records). Do you want 2 bucks? Because I could give less than a fuck.
- Do not leave your shit on my desk! It will be handled accordingly
- Shoulder Surfing Prohibited! (note: in other words, yes, I notice your pacing back and forth past my cube. Lemme help you out a bit. The quickest way around a Square is through the middle. Whatcha comin MY way for?Getcha nosey ass on somewhere!)
- I get my supplies from the same place you got yourn. Know what that means!...Keep ya cotton-pickin' hands off of my shit! Especially my LisaFrank feather pen! Or my atomic pink stapler! High-tail your ass back to your cube and get your own shit!
- If you are not my bossman, or bosslady, do not behave as such. You will be ignored
- Yes I drink Cocoa. No I don't give a lovely screw if it's summertime or not. You drink hot ass coffee don'tcha? Okay then. Keep that Swissmiss on stock
- DO NOT contact me regarding workplace issues ON VACATION!...and don't get cute calling me from your cellphone either. The call will be mysteriously dropped.
Honorable Mention: if you've never made a run for me, DO NOT ask me to make one for you. Ask your momma if she cares about McDonalds being right across the street from the bank, because I DON'T
posted by ~Kesh @ 6/11/2008 02:43:00 PM
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