Signor Dildo....LOL
...I think British Literature class is starting to interest me now...enjoy:
Signor Dildo -- The Earl of Rochester
You ladies of merry England
Who have been to kiss the Duchess's hand,
Pray, did you not lately observe in the show
A noble Italian called Signior Dildo?
This signior was one of the Duchess's train
And helped to conduct her over the main;
But now she cries out, 'To the Duke I will go,
I have no more need for Signior Dildo.'
At the Sign of the Cross in St James's Street,
When next you go thither to make yourselves sweet
By buying of powder, gloves, essence, or so,
You may chance to get a sight of Signior Dildo.
You would take him at first for no person of note,
Because he appears in a plain leather coat,
But when you his virtuous abilities know,
You'll fall down and worship Signior Dildo.
My Lady Southesk, heaven prosper her for't,
First clothed him in satin, then brought him to court;
But his head in the circle he scarcely durst show,
So modest a youth was Signior Dildo.
The good Lady Suffolk, thinking no harm,
Had got this poor stranger hid under her arm.
Lady Betty by chance came the secret to know
And from her own mother stole Signior Dildo.
The Countess of Falmouth, of whom people tell
Her footmen wear shirts of a guinea an ell,
Might save that expense, if she did but know
How lusty a swinger is Signior Dildo.
By the help of this gallant the Countess of Rafe
Against the fierce Harris preserved herself safe;
She stifled him almost beneath her pillow,
So closely she embraced Signior Dildo.
The pattern of virtue, Her Grace of Cleveland,
Has swallowed more pricks than the ocean has sand;
But by rubbing and scrubbing so wide does it grow,
It is fit for just nothing but Signior Dildo.
Our dainty fine duchesses have got a trick
To dote on a fool for the sake of his prick,
The fops were undone did their graces but know
The discretion and vigour of Signior Dildo.
The Duchess of Modena, though she looks so high,
With such a gallant is content to lie,
And for fear that the English her secrets should know,
For her gentleman usher took Signior Dildo.
The Countess o'th'Cockpit (who knows not her name?
She's famous in story for a killing dame),
When all her old lovers forsake her, I trow,
She'll then be contented with Signior Dildo.
Red Howard, red Sheldon, and Temple so tall
Complain of his absence so long from Whitehall.
Signior Barnard has promised a journey to go
And bring back his countryman, Signior Dildo.
Doll Howard no longer with His Highness must range,
And therefore is proferred this civil exchange:
Her teeth being rotten, she smells best below,
And needs must be fitted for Signior Dildo.
St Albans with wrinkles and smiles in his face,
Whose kindness to strangers becomes his high place,
In his coach and six horses is gone to Bergo
To take the fresh air with Signior Dildo.
Were this signior but known to the citizen fops,
He'd keep their fine wives from the foremen o'their shops;
But the rascals deserve their horns should still grow
For burning the Pope and his nephew, Dildo.
Tom Killigrew's wife, that Holland fine flower,
At the sight of this signior did fart and belch sour,
And her Dutch breeding the further to show,
Says, 'Welcome to England, Mynheer Van Dildo.'
He civilly came to the Cockpit one night,
And proferred his service to fair Madam Knight.
Quoth she, 'I intrigue with Captain Cazzo;
Your nose in mine arse, good Signior Dildo.'
This signior is sound, safe, ready, and dumb
As ever was candle, carrot, or thumb;
Then away with these nasty devices, and show
How you rate the just merit of Signior Dildo.
Count Cazzo, who carries his nose very high,
In passion he swore his rival should die;
Then shut himself up to let the world know
Flesh and blood could not bear it from Signior Dildo.
A rabble of pricks who were welcome before,
Now finding the porter denied them the door,
Maliciously waited his coming below
And inhumanly fell on Signior Dildo.
Nigh wearied out, the poor stranger did fly,
And along the Pall Mall they followed full cry;
The women concerned from every window
Cried, 'For heaven's sake, save Signior Dildo.'
The good Lady Sandys burst into a laughter
To see how the ballocks came wobbling after,
And had not their weight retarded the foe,
Indeed't had gone hard with Signior Dildo.
Domestic Violence
...I see many people joking how strong their "pimp hand" is and beating women. This is serious bid'ness here:
Clothes Aren't the Issue
By Asra Q. Nomani
Sunday, October 22, 2006; Page B01
MORGANTOWN, W.Va. When dealing with a "disobedient wife," a Muslim man has a number of options. First, he should remind her of "the importance of following the instructions of the husband in Islam." If that doesn't work, he can "leave the wife's bed." Finally, he may "beat" her, though it must be without "hurting, breaking a bone, leaving blue or black marks on the body and avoiding hitting the face, at any cost."
Such appalling recommendations, drawn from the book "Woman in the Shade of Islam" by Saudi scholar Abdul Rahman al-Sheha, are inspired by as authoritative a source as any Muslim could hope to find: a literal reading of the 34th verse of the fourth chapter of the Koran, An-Nisa , or Women. "[A]nd (as to) those on whose part you fear desertion, admonish them and leave them alone in the sleeping-places and beat them," reads one widely accepted translation.
The notion of using physical punishment as a "disciplinary action," as Sheha suggests, especially for "controlling or mastering women" or others who "enjoy being beaten," is common throughout the Muslim world. Indeed, I first encountered Sheha's work at my Morgantown mosque, where a Muslim student group handed it out to male worshipers after Friday prayers one day a few years ago.
Verse 4:34 retains a strong following, even among many who say that women must be treated as equals under Islam. Indeed, Muslim scholars and leaders have long been doing what I call "the 4:34 dance" -- they reject outright violence against women but accept a level of aggression that fits contemporary definitions of domestic violence.
Western leaders, including British Prime Minister Tony Blair and Italian Prime Minister Romano Prodi, have recently focused on Muslim women's veils as an obstacle to integration in the West. But to me, it is 4:34 that poses the much deeper challenge of integration. How the Muslim world interprets this passage will reveal whether Islam can be compatible with life in the 21st century. As Hadayai Majeed, an African American Muslim who had opened a shelter in Atlanta to serve Muslim women, put it, "If it's okay for me to be a savage in my home, it's okay for me to be a savage in the world."
Not long after I picked up the free Saudi book, Mahmoud Shalash, an imam from Lexington, Ky., stood at the pulpit of my mosque and offered marital advice to the 100 or so men sitting before him. He repeated the three-step plan, with "beat them" as his final suggestion. Upstairs, in the women's balcony, sat a Muslim friend who had recently left her husband, who she said had abused her; her spouse sat among the men in the main hall.
At the sermon's end, I approached Shalash. "This is America," I protested. "How can you tell men to beat their wives?"
"They should beat them lightly," he explained. "It's in the Koran."
He was doing the dance.
Born into a conservative Muslim family that emigrated from Hyderabad, India, to West Virginia, I have seen many female relatives in India cloak themselves head to toe in black burqas and abandon their education and careers for marriage. But the Islam I knew was a gentle one. I was never taught that a man could -- or should -- physically discipline his wife. Abusing anyone, I was told, violated Islamic tenets against zulm , or cruelty. My family adhered to the ninth chapter of the Koran, which says that men and women "are friends and protectors of one another."
However, the kidnapping and killing of my friend and colleague Daniel Pearl in 2002 forced me to confront the link between literalist interpretations of the Koran that sanction violence in the world and those that sanction violence against women. For critics of Islam, 4:34 is the smoking gun that proves that Islam is misogynistic and intrinsically violent. Read literally, it is as troubling as Koranic verses such as At-Tauba ("The Repentance") 9:5, which states that Muslims should "slay the pagans wherever ye find them" or Al-Mâ'idah ("The Table Spread with Food") 5:51, which reads, "Take not the Jews and Christians as friends."
Although Islamic historians agree that the prophet Muhammad never hit a woman, it is also clear that Muslim communities face a domestic violence problem. A 2003 study of 216 Pakistani women found that 97 percent had experienced such abuse; almost half of them reported being victims of nonconsensual sex. Earlier this year, the state-run General Union of Syrian Women released a report showing that one in four married Syrian women is the victim of domestic violence
The Washington Post
...more insult to the injury
*on the soapbox*...let's review the "facts" shall we?
~stay away from Black men...they are either gay, headed to jail or in jail, dead, or with white women
~the "On the Down Low" handbook tells us that black men have gay tendancies...beware ladies
~Black women are dumb...black men...beware!
~[insert random statistic]...black women account for Nth% of new AIDS cases
~[insert random statistic]...black women account for Nth% of [might as well insert random disease here]...fellas...watch out!
~[insert random statistic]...black men account for Nth% of new prison inmates
~...and the newest one...get ready people...
black women are ho's!...must...build lots of abortion clinics in their neighborhoods! Better to abort these future thugs right?
--->
...from the NY SUN...just a little snippit of what was said in that there article
Black babies are terminated at triple the rate of white babies," a female announcer in one of the ads says, as rain, thunder, and a crying infant are heard in the background. "The Democratic Party supports these abortion laws that are decimating our people, but the individual's right to life is protected in the Republican platform. Democrats say they want our vote.Why don't they want our lives?"
Another ad features a dialogue between two men.
"If you make a little mistake with one of your ‘hos,' you'll want to dispose of that problem tout suite, no questions asked," one of the men says.
"That's too cold. I don't snuff my own seed," the other replies.
"Maybe you do have a reason to vote Republican," the first man says.
No "Good" Black Man vs. "No-Good" Black Man
...on the soapbox......Black Women these days (not all of us) seem to think that being single is some sort of disease or something...they avoid it like the plague, and even look at you like you have a third eye when you say "I'm single".
...Like really, what's up with this way of thinking? Do they miss the sex (if that's a part of it), the attention or whatever? Why can't it be "I'm just not with someone at this point in my life" or "right now, I really don't have time to devote healthily to a relationship" and let that be the end of it? *shakes head* Women just aren't comfortable by themselves for any period of time huh?
...Now, instead of looking at the bigger picture here, (which could possibly be looking at THEMSELVES and what they look for in a mate) these same women will categorize all Black Men ('cuz you know they aren't gonna date outside of their race)as being either gay, on the DL, in jail/prison, dead, or with white women. In other words, there aren't any "Good" Black Men left. Oh, and let me add that in order to avoid the "gossip" and other backlash from their female peers, these women will "settle" (if that's what you wanna call it) for any ole dude...I hate to say it, but any ole dude (he can treat her like shit for all we know) with money. Have we become settling goldiggers, or do we just desire a financially stabled guy?
...I think women, like anybody else, are attracted to men with the same status as themselves. If they have a car, they refuse to date anyone without one...if they don't have kids, they refuse to date anyone with kids...If they have a 9-5, they refuse to date anyone without one...and if they have a degree or two or three, you can forget it. I don't mean to be cynical here, but let's get real. Women already outnumber men, and we damn sure outnumber them in the classroom. I just went to a graduation, and there were WAY more women getting degrees than men. And I can count on my fingers how man BLACK ones recieved them. Looks like a sista should learn to broaden her horizons.
...it seems as if the "educated" brother is more desirable. It also depends on your definition of what EDUCATED means. Does this mean college? Do you automatically rule out the guy who didn't go to college? And please believe, all "educated" men are NOT "Good" guys. I've heard plenty of stories of "Prestigous" University guys treating women like shit. Maybe they feel they have a right too, but that's a whole 'nother blog there.
...the pernt is (like my Daddy says), there are PLENTY of "GOOD" guys, brothers, whatever out there. LOTS of them. I run into plenty. Is that hard to beleive? Well maybe you need someone like me to humble your ass off that high horse of yours. Are you a "good" woman? Yeah, get back to me when you have a good answer to that question. On the flipside, a majority of black women do NOT have a degree (check my math). Does a degree make one more desirable over another? What abouot
So, you wouldn't consider a "blue" collar guy then would you? Some of them are Good guys too, but they are often bypassed because they ignant sista believes him to be "not on her level".
...all I have to say to the Good guys out there is this: don't worry about the females who won't give you a chance...you don't want that type of female anyway, so be glad
