Eligible Bachelors -- Take two
Bachelor #2: *Jonathan*
Stats: 22...single...no kids...college undergrad...works with kids...aspiring preacher....
Why it didn't work out: I met Jonathan when we both were freshmen in high shcool (although we went to separate schools). Since I was in the marching band, this made me addicted to football games, so I would go from school to school wishing I went to a black school...even borrowing some of their sheet music. They were really cool about it. Anywho, During the 10th grade, Jonathan and I would go to the library and study for the PSAT's and talk about what we wanted to do after highschool and other stuff. And there we go...a blossoming relationship. I moved away (didn't have a phone) so we lost touch for a minute, and one day I see him while I'm waiting on a bus. We exchange numbers, and continue on from there.
...On July 4 2005 (I left my journal at home), he calls me up...asks me what I'm doing for the holiday...nothing to much I say, he asks if I want to hang out (KEY WORD....HANGOUT), i'm like sure....I ask him where he's taking me (once before, he took me to one of the churches he attends on a spur of the moment type of thing, and I felt weird as hell with jeans on, but that's another story)..he says he has a few games, maybe we can grab something to eat and go to the park...I'm pretty much a big kid in the park, so I'm like, cool, give me 15 minutes.
I have on a tee some skorts (shorts that look like a skirt for those that don't know), and what we call "white girls" (Keds...don't ask)......he has on a tie, a dress shirt, and some dress pants...y'know...Sunday school wear....yeah....a big WTF moment....we were gonna go to the park for crying out loud. Anyways, he pulls up, I come out, and he's looking at me with this disatisfied look on his face. Again, I'm like WTF is up with you dude? and he's like, nothing. So he asks me where I wanna go, and I'm like I don't care, its up to you--only for him to shoot down everyplace I suggest we go. "I don't eat red meat anymore, I don't like that place, blah blah blah"...I mean what the hell?...I'm like, fine, lets go to Wendy's then, YOU DO still eat chicken don'tcha?...He was stuck eating salad (no problem with that), But Kesha aint on no diet, so Kesha was gonna get her grub on. No shame in my game (excuse my third person frenzy).
So at the park is where he tells me:
Him: ...you know...I always had a little crush on you back in high school.
Me: WTF...really? How come you never said anything then?
Him: ...I dunno...I guess I didn't think you'd like a guy like me
Me: What do you mean "a guy like me" ? And assuming things about me will get you nowhere potna.
Him: *shrugs*
Me: ...well you still should've told me. We could've went out a long time ago. Why me?
Him: ...because you were Hot *big grin*
Me: LOL ...well thanks....with my 14 year old ass ....lol
Him: ...yeah...I would date you now, but you'd have to change your lifestyle first.
Me: WTF
...okay like, WTF!?...my lifestyle!?...am I going around fucking every guy I see? no...am I 21 with 3 damn kids?!...no...do I steal from people, have I been locked up, do I do drugs?...HELL NO..oh yeah...I forgot this dude was trying to become a minister...he even had the audacity to critique my outfit (again.....skorts....tee shirt), like I was showing my tits and ass in front of a bunch of 6 year olds. He was also on some "women need to learn their place and stay in it" and "its in the bible; book of whoever, verse whatever". You guessed it. He's got that Holiness ,I'm superior to anyone who isn't saved, women should cover their hair and shouldn't wear pants, borderline Jehovah's Witness vibe going on.
Keep in mind that the way I dressed that day is typical Kesha. We had a little argument, which he questions my faith to God, and calls me a liar since I refuse stop wearing pants. He even pulls out his bible as "proof", in which I gave MY interpretation of the scripture to mean something different. This didn't shut him up though, because he stayed on his "I'm right all the time" way of thinking instead of seeing things from my point of view. Anyway, I mention something along the lines of, "well do you buy my clothes? I don't think so, so you can keep it! to which he shows up at my house (in the rain, mind you) with a "new wardrobe" of dresses (they were not my style) and skirts...are you pondering what I'm pondering? Yes folks, it looks like he "borrowed" these items from church donations to needy and homeless family too. SMH
Moral: I say damn! My relationship with God ain't none of your friggin bid'ness! Maybe I should convert to Catholocism or something...they don't seem to be all up in my kool-aid with the LawdLabels: relationships
Eligible Bachelors -- Take one
There's a variety of reasons why I'm still single...I think the biggest one is me being in school. I'm trying to graduate, and pretty soon, so I just don't have enough time (physically, emotionally, etc) to devote to a healthy relationship. That just wouldn't be fair to the other person. Anywho, here's my list of "Eligible Bachelors"....names have been changed to protect the guilty.
Bachelor #1: *Darryl*
Stats: 32...single...no kids...college grad...steady job...persuing 2nd degree....into digital technology
Why it didn't work out: I met Darryl about 3 years ago....he's 10 years my senior...age was never an issue. We started off as bus buddies. I was with another guy at the time. I would invite him to hang out with me and the ex all the time...you know...double date and all that good stuff....he would always decline. Tells me he didn't get good vibes from the guy. After me and the ex broke up the first time (that's a whole 'nother story), he was estatic. I would hang with him....movies, food, the whole nine...i get bored...go over...he lets me use his internet...you know...we were startin' to be cool peoples...we had a nice lil friendship going until he drops the bomb while we're working on a project one day....:
"I can't do this anymore"
"...yeah...I'm kinda tired too...we can finish this some other time...so what do you think about---"
"no, not the project...I mean this."
"oooookay....I'm confused"
"I can't be around you...not when I can't have you"
"wait a sec--what? what are you talking about?"
"I'm sick of this "buddy" shit we're doing here. I can't pretend any longer"
"um....ok...maybe I should leave...."
"no wait *grabs me in an embrace*...I'm sorry."
me getting scared: "D...could you let me go please? You're scaring me"
"no, my bad Kesha, listen..."
...he proceeds to explain his philosophy. Apparantly, he doesn't see the reason being my "friend" when he wants something more. Me, I'm still stuck on the ex, and I have no idea where he's getting these romantic feelings from. Anywho, we agree to remain friends just to squash the ackwardness. Afterwards, I don't talk to him for a few weeks, he calls me out of the blue about a going to a play...I decline, he persists....shows up at my house to take me out anyway. We chat in the car, and according to him, I should at least try a relationship with him. That I shouldn't "blow him off" in his words, becasue I never know what could happen. *sigh*....even though I see this type of relationship going nowhere with him, I agree to give it a try.
Issue #1: I have a few male friends, and a few female friends....so does he...however, he had a problem with my male friends....
Issue #2: He wanted sex, and was ready to start a family. I'm sorry, but a man not good enough to marry me is equally not good enough to father my kids. He made it plain and clear that he was all for the marriage thing, but I'm neither in love, nor ready (at this point in my life) to settle down.
Issue #3: He doesn't believe in a woman be independent. In other words, yes she should be educated and pursue a carrer, but as far as household issues, men should be head of household. They should pay all the bills, and give the woman money keep herself up. Again, his words, not mine. He also was multi-talented...meaning there was nothing he had a problem doing, and doing well. The guy even knew how to sew--and better than ME! Our relationship consisted of him taking me places, doing things for me, etc. and NEVER would he allow it the other way around. I was just there...taking up space...I didn't do anything but tutor him when needed. I felt useless really. So that's where that one ended.
Moral: Men and Woman CAN be friends. We were doing just fine until all of this catching feelings stuff came upLabels: relationships
I'm FED UP with DELL!
...I have a Dell Inspiron 1200 notebook...which is pretty decent for me, as a college student. I got for $500 back in August (2005). I also had high-speed Comcast internet (actually, I didn't pay for this one, but I'll get into that later).
Everything is working nicely, up until December of last year. I'm unable to get onto the internet, which I need espeically for school purposes. I call the Dell people, get transferred about 50 million times, and they tell me that I need to talk to my ISP, which is Comcast. I call Comcast...the woman tells me to clear my cookies, check this, check that, etc., still nothing. She informs me that I need to talk with Dell...that I may have an "internal problem" that should be fixed. Didn't I just call those fuckers? *sigh*
I was hoping to get it fixed by this semester, but screw it. Since I was unable to get online, I just let Comcast cancel it. Plus my "20 bucks for 3 months" deal was up anyways. If I can't log on, I sure as hell aint paying for no internet. Back to square one.
Three keys on my keyboard popped off, so I call Dell....tell them what the Comcast lady said....tell them about my popped keys....I have to REPLACE the ENTIRE keyboard! I ask how much....10 bucks...I'm cool....Dell guy tells me that it's a "self" type of thing---they'll sent it along with instructions, and I can install it myself. I'm like, cool. He tells me there's nothing he can do about my "internal problems" unless I have the internet. Well they'd better fix my shit within 24 hours. That's my logic *sigh*. This was Sunday.
Come Monday, my keyboard arrives in the mail. Guess what's missing? THE FUCKING INSTRUCTIONS! *sigh*...once again, I call the Dell people....it goes a little like this:
Robot: thank you for calling Dell. We love serving you....all of our representatives are currently serving other customers...please wait on the line for the next available representative.....BEEP BEEP
Me: 99 bottles of beer on the wall.....99 bottles of beer......I wait a good 15 minutes before I'm connected to a human. and that so called "classical" music was hurting my damn ears. I would rather hear nothing than to hear that. At LEAST play some Jazz. Sheesh.
Dude: thank you for calling DELL. My name is *Dave*. To verify your account, may I have your first and last name?Me: WTF? Sure, um...(I tell him my name)Dude: Kesha? how do you spell that?Me: *sigh* K-E-S-H-A......no IDude: mm hmm...now what's your address and telephone number?
Me: WTF ....*i tell the info*Dude: ok....*type type type*....and what's your service tag number, and express service code?Me: *struggles to locate info*...um,....*i tell info*Dude: thank you. Now Ms. Kesha, what seems to be the problem?....up to this point, I was on the line for about 8 minutes. I explain my problem.
Dude: oh um....well...we don't handle Inspiron 1200's. I'm gonna have to transfer you.
Me: WTFFFFFFFF! *Sigh*...he transfers me...Like a fucking raggedy CD, I repeat the same shit. And guess what? THEY TRANSFER ME AGAIN!
...I'm on the line for 45 minutes at this point, when I say, FUCK IT! How about letting me speak first instead of asking 10,000,000 questions, only to not be able to help me? And how about letting a HUMAN answer the phone? I can't talk to no fucking ROBOT!
Labels: ...gettin' fit..., ...this shit right HERE..., ...venting, *names have been changed to protect the guilty*
Community Service -- Take one
...yesterday was "day one" of my community service. I volunteered at a local elementary school, by way of the school's counselor. She spoke in one of my lecture classes, so I decided to help out. It was also a requirement as part of my Minor. I thought it'd be a piece of cake, but most of the experience was quite disturbing and depressing. I've learned and observed a few things in 4 hours:
1) The school was built on the site of a Civil War hospital back in 1880, in Downtown Atlanta...it was renamed "Cook" in 1941, and rebuilt sometime in 2000.
2) According to stats, 96% of the students are black...there are only 300 something odd students in the entire school...most students live in the neighboring projects, or other low-income areas. *sigh*
3) Strange...the counselor seems to be the oldest person there...everyone else doesn't look a day over 40...some of the teachers look to be around my age (22)
4) Their is absolutely nothing wrong with the so-called "slow" or "bad". Sassy boys are "bad"...sassy girls are just running their mouths. Regardless, separating them is ridiculous.
5) Despite low-standardized test scores, there has been some improvement...and kids are not as dumb as everyone thinks
6) According to the No Child Left Behind reports (i did a little research here), this school meets AYP (annual yearly progress) and doesn't need any improvements. I beg to differ.
7) The kids I interacted with strangely reminded me of myself
...The building doesn't appear to have been remodeled to me. It looks like an abandoned jailhouse, with small windows. As a matter of fact, I passed by it 2 times. There are no signs of school-life, no flag hanging outside, no artsy crafts hanging in the windows, and dilapidated school titling. The school is literally 5 seconds away from the Highway, so there is a street in front....little room for trees, or a play area. There's some red dirt and a few dump trucks on the side, so I assume they're gonna construct a playground there. The inside is a little better. Artwork, tests, and stories are all hung on colorful bulletin boards outside of classrooms. There are also pictures of teacher/student collaboration hanging around too. I don't know if it was me, but the lighting was not all that bright, causing a dull appearance.
I arrived in the midst of the ITBS (Iowa Test of Basic Skills) which occurs in Georgia during March. This test is considered a "standardized" test, and is used to categorize schools, teachers, students, etc. on "how smart" and "how far behind as a state" Georgia overall is. Whatever. Anyways, this was no reason to put all kinds of stress on KIDS. Some of them were on the verge of tears, thinking they'll be retained in their current grade if they didn't perform well on this exam. The kids tested for 2 hours, and I didn't see ANY bathroom break, stretching, snacking, or anything in between testing.
After about 2.5 hours, the testing was over, and kids were allowed to use the bathroom and whatnot. Shockingly, it was back to drilling and studying for testing part II... I walk by the art room...empty....computer room....empty....I'm pretty sure these kids were sick of all this testing, and wouldn't mind a litte break. Hell, I was sick of sitting in the hall way, monitoring. I did 99 bottles of beer on the wall TWICE, and the second time, I went to negative 30 something beers on the wall before they finally let me interact with the kids. My task was to make sure the "bad kids" wouldn't talk, and to have them read to me as part of a drill. Negative. They were really respectable, so they talked all they wanted. It amazes me how much they tell you to "shut-up" in school, and when you get to college, they want all this "discussion and participation" and "forced talking". Anyway, keep in mind that I had about 4 students...all little boys. (3rd Grade). They drilled pretty well, but had trouble reading "outloud" and fast.
I really think teachers should use psychological skills. There are many factors that play into how well a student performs on a test. One boy was very restless (as i read several stories, he tended to fall asleep), some of them was irate (i would be too) and you could hear some of their stomachs growling. Who knows what these kids go through every day, or what keeps them up all night so they're fallling asleep at school. School meals are probably the only meals they receive per day. And for the adults to contribute this to "bad behavior" is unbelievable to me. I really hope I was able to help them some, if any at all.
Kids learn at different rates anyways, so I'm not understanding why this particular test is being timed. The kids that read to me, I noticed that they focus more on pronouncing the word (in their minds) than the meaning of the word--which takes them longer to read the passages, and not enough time to read and complete the questions. If they could master the skill of just reading for comprehension, they'll be alright. But its a way to do it without stressing the kid out.
...I'm supposed to head back out there tomorrow, so we'll see what happens then.
Labels: ...black folks, ain't that interesting, social issues
