My Great-Grandfather...
Y'know, the media is something else. Biologically, Jethro English is my great-grandfather. He has, however, never played that role in my life. According to my granddaddy, Robert English, and his daughter, my mother, Jethro English was very active in the Civil Rights movement, here in Atlanta. He was also a great acquaintance with the King Family. Be that as it may, in every media acticle placed on a pedistal on Jethro, I see no mention of my great-grandmother (Myrtice Jennings) OR their son, my granddaddy, Robert English. This doesn't sit well with me. It's actually starting to piss me off. I can only remember TWO instances in my life where I've interacted with this guy, though my mother claims there were more). The first instance happened when I was about 8 years old. My granddaddy was working for the Centers for Disease Control, and he would also take photos on the side (weddings, graduations, etc). He had a camera that took three-dimensional photos, which facsinated my sisters and I. On one particular summer visit, we rode Marta to the King Center to take some 3D photos. That's when I met my infamous great-grandfather, who tried to woo us with candy and MLK-themed yo-yos. That kept us over, until we soon forgot about this guy. A couple of years later, near Christmas-time (I'm maybe 14 years old), we get a fruit and nut basket. Gee, wow! *sarcasm*. When we have no heat, or running water in fucking December, in comes Jethro. With his "I told you so's", like we deserve to be poor. And no one seems to remember this shit but me. I try to talk to my Granddaddy, at least once a week. Usually, the conversation shifts to his oh so wonderful father and his trips to Egypt. Last year, I got into an argument with my mother, because I didn't send Jethro a birthday card. Excuse me? I don't even KNOW this guy, or his favorite color!...let alone his birthday. Am I living in the twilight zone here? As a matter of fact, when has this guy ever sent ME well wishes on MY birthday?...he doesn't even know how to pronounce my damn name!...but because he's associated with Atlantan Black history (which I am in no way trying to negate here), i'm supposed to bow down?!?...excuse my broken French, but shittin' me. I find it funny how all of sudden, my great-grandmother births my grandfather, and this Jethro guy dipps and marries another woman four years later. I find it funny, how when my gread-grandmother had to get her leg amputated, his ass was no where to be found. Guess he doesn't wanna be associated with us, but that's not my problem. I'm just here to set the record straight. This guy wasn't around. It was my mommie's, REAL grandfather, ROY JENNINGS. And even though I was pretty young when he passed, I can remember a helluva lot more about him than Jethro. I remember him fixing me Ovaltine in my sippy cup. I remember getting peppermints, butterpeacan ice cream, strawberry milk from him. My typewriter when I was three. I have a pretty good memory if I do say so myself, and Jethro wasn't a part of it.And now, here I am trying to get ready to go get some life insurance Saturday, and here Mommie comes, thrusting another Jethro-praised article in my face. Smiling too, mind you. Like she doesn't remember all the shit she's told us about Jethro. Anywho, if you're interested, here're the oh so great articles concerning my estranged great-grandfather. Enjoy!_________________________________________________________________________________July 1, 1989Haywood, Richette L.; Poinsett, Alex
Sex After SixtyHE'S 74 and a retired U.S. Army forklift truck supervisor. She's 71 and a part-time receptionist. When Auretha and
Jethro English celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary in Atlanta two years ago, their
two adult children teased them about diminishing body chemistry. But the couple's venerable role as great-grandparents doesn't keep them from regularly affirming their sexiness.
Mrs. English is amused that many of her peers don't even talk about, let along engange in, sexual activity, a bodily function she ranks in importance with respiration and digestion. She rejects social taboos against aging persons expressing sexual needs. She also rejects mythical claims that sexual desire automatically ebbs with age, declining in the 40s and hitting bottom sometime between 60 and 65. Nor does she agree with those latter-day Victorians who equate sex with S-I-N.
Like Mrs. English, many of the nation's 30 million people (one of every seven) who are 60 or older are much more active sexually than is generally believed. "People are having sex long after they start wearing reading glasses and hearing aids," says one sex behavior researcher.
An example is a retired St. Louis hardware store owner who, despite years of sex with her 83-year-old husband, says she didn't have her first orgasm until age 78. She explains to a sex therapist that she has put three children through college. "Now it's may turn," she declares. Then presenting the therapist with a carving of a boy fishing, the lady adds: "I came fishing for love."
Indeed, many post-menopausal women seek new outlets for the attention and energy they previously devoted to mothering, report Dr. William H. Masters and Virginia E. Johnson, the famed sex-bahavior researchers. Some prefer older lovers, finding them more responsive to their needs than younger ones.
Years of experience have taught some older men some of the differences between their needs and those of women. One difference is that most women like hugging, kissing, talking, touching, fondling and foreplay. Men like intercourse. When they are caring and considerate, however, they do not rush their partners, recognizing that they usually take longer to be sexually aroused.
Foreplay, for many senior citizens, starts long before the bedroom tryst. Perhaps he phones from his office, inviting her to dinner then hinting at "other" possibilities. Or she tucks tiny notes in unexpected places -- his lunchbox, his pocket, the folds of his morning paper. English, for example, never waits for special occasions to romance his wife with giftsor to proclaim his love for her. ideally, they both seek a continuous lovemaking experience--seduction easing into foreplay and passionate entanglement, then subsiding in afterplay that reflects their apprication for each other.
Meanwhile, too many older men and women are bewildered by gradual changes in sexual functioning that accompany aging. Most sex researchers agree that a 65-year-old man, for example, should not suspect failing potency as the reason he needs more time to atatin sexual readiness. Nor should an older woman conclude that she is less attractive and sexually responsive because her husband does not climax curing each encounter. For the lovemaking capacity generally remains intact, despite bodily changes brought on by aging and various ailments that plague the post-60 years. However, Mastersand Johnson cite "Widow's Syndrome" to describe an older woman deprived of sexual activity over several months. Vaginal shrinkage occurs and there's less natural lubrication. Similarly, with "Widower's Syndrome" a man, who abstains from sexual activity for a year or more, may discover that he is impotent although there's no prior history of sexual dysfunction.
Many of the sexual problems of older men are rooted in their excessive expectations, which often result in anxiety about their performance. If a man believes that he has to bring his partner to orgasm every time they make love, he puts unreasonable pressure on himself and his partner. Many older women, however, do not feel they must achieve orgasm every time for sex to be rewarding.
Avoiding boredom in the boudoir by changing the time, place and types of sexual activity is perhaps the biggest challenge for older couples. "How many men and women want to eat exactly the same food served in the same manner every time they sit down to a meal?" ask Masters and Johnson. "How many couples think of sexual interaction as a natural appetite and, in order to stimulate that appetite, make sincere attempts to vary their long-established sexual patterns?"
Dr. Terry Mason, sex counseling director at Chicago's Mercy Hospital, recalls the case of Anne, 64, a retired teacher. For 10years her husband, Thomas, 65, resisted changes in his routine. At 6 p.m., he watched the news. At 7 p.m., he and Anne had dinner. At 8 p.m., he began his customary two hours of TV viewing. At 10 p.m., the couple went to bed.
Since Anne couldnt get Thomas out of the house for a romantic dinner, she prepared an unforgettable meal -- warm bread, steaming pasa with garlic butter, crisp tossed salad and a bottle of red wine. Instead of setting the dining room table, she spread a paisley throw on a small table in their bedroom, adding a scented candle and six pink roses.
As he sat watching television, Thomas wondered aloud what smelled so good and why hadn't the table been set? Smiling at her husband's predictability, Anne slipped into the silver satin dress she had worn on their 35th wedding anniversary. That night, the television didn't go on again.
While most younger people accept such creativity to keep from lapsing into a dull routine, many older couples still do not experiment in their lovemaking. They are more hesitant about trying oral sex, for example. Studies indicate that only about 25 percent of people over 55 regularly engage in oral sex, compared with nearly 75 percent of younger couples. Many religious teachings once discouraged any mention of the pleasurable benefits of sex and took a dim view of any sexual activitity whose purpose was not procreation. Today, many ministers and marraige counselors consider oral sex and other activities as positive parts of a couple's sexual relationship and marriage.
Nevertheless, experts say many older women find it difficult to experiment in sex--initiating the act, trying new positions, etc.--because they are out of touch with their own sexual feelings. Several surveys of menhs sexual preferences show that they would like their partners to be more aggressive and relieve them of responsibility for initiating sex all the time. Such a role reversal can result from good communication, an essential ingredient in a good sex life at any age. Many older couples are unable to share all their sexual needs and desires, and what might have been a simple request or a minor criticism becomes a major source of frustration.
For many couples sex may become more pleasurable in later years due to the removal of stress-filled schedules and the fear of pregnancy. The emotional needs of the aging individual--retaining a sense of identity and selfworth and combating loneliness, for example--also may be fulfilled by sexual activity that does not always lead to intercourse.
Dr. Gail E. Wyatt, an associate professor of medical psychology at the University of California at Lost Angeles, advises older women to broaden their definition of sex to include non-genital activity, pampering themselves with exotic baths, body massaging and other forms of self-stimulation and exercise to reduce sexual tension.
For Atlanta's Aretha and Jethro English, the need to hold and to be held, the need to relate well to one another, the need to express and receive feelings, neither atrophies nor ends with aging. They know that to continue fruitful sexual activity into their '70s or '80s, they must cling to reasonably good general health and a sexually interesting partnership.
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EBENEZER BAPTIST CHURCH: Back to the glory daysSecond phase of restoration will return interior to how it looked when MLK was co-pastor
By
Ernie SuggsThe Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Published on: 10/06/07
Jethro English has been a member of Ebenezer Baptist Church since 1925. His wife, Auretha, joined in 1929, the year the church's most famous son, Martin Luther King Jr., was born.
English, 94, was an attendant at the wedding of Martin Luther King Sr. and Alberta King, MLK's parents. Auretha English, 90, almost delivered her son in the choir stand and sang at Martin Luther King Jr.'s funeral.
So when a $4 million restoration project now under way is finished, the newly redone Ebenezer will look familiar to the couple.
The National Park Service, which controls the church, is rebuilding Ebenezer from the inside out. When the federally funded restoration is finished —- the target date is Jan. 9, 2009 —- the church will look much as it did from 1960 until 1968, when Martin Luther King Jr. was the co-pastor, alongside his father.
Workers are removing old drywall and vinyl flooring to reveal century-old wood.
In the fellowship hall in the basement, workers are taking down every slat of wood from the ceiling and marking and labeling each piece before restoring it.
A baptismal pool, built in the 1970s, is being removed from the sanctuary.
Workers will take out pews and refinish them —- but not to perfection. They'll remove etched-in names; nicks and other marks of age and wear will stay.
The church's stained-glass windows, which feature the names of some of Ebenezer's most important figures —- including Jethro and Auretha English —- will be restored so they can be viewed from outside.
That work will undo part of a 1972 renovation, during which the church installed Plexiglas covers to protect the windows from vandalism and age. Over the years, the covers have faded and aged so that they obscure what they are supposed to protect. Plus, a recent water test revealed that the windows leak.
Also on the outside, workers are analyzing three forms of brick and mortar used over the years to patch or add to the church. They want to find the exact match to repair the brick, which in some spots has allowed water to seep into the sanctuary.
"We have a national treasure here that needs to be protected," said Judy Forte, superintendent of the King National Historic Site, "a place where the world can reflect upon Dr. King's life, listen to his words and truly get a sense of what Ebenezer was like."
The church is one of Atlanta's most visited sites. It is one of the most historically significant churches in the country, along with the National Cathedral in Washington and St. Patrick's Cathedral in New York. Ebenezer was closed for worship services in 1999, but King's sermons and speeches, broadcast in the sanctuary, give it a reverential feel.
King's life and his religious career came full circle at Ebenezer. He was baptized there at 5. He preached his first sermon there at 17 and his last one, "Drum Major Instinct," on Feb. 4, 1968, exactly two months before he was killed.
Ebenezer was founded in 1886 under the Rev. John A. Parker, who served as its first pastor at the original site nearby, on what is now Airline Street.
King's maternal grandfather, the Rev. Adam D. Williams, became pastor in 1894 and saw the church experience its first significant growth.
After moving to several locations in downtown Atlanta, Williams settled on the plot of land on Auburn Avenue and built the Late Gothic Revival-style church, which was completed in 1922.
A member of the King family was pastor of the church for 81 years, from when Williams took the helm in 1894 to King Sr.'s retirement in 1975.
The congregation, which has had only five pastors since 1894, moved into the new building known as the Horizon Sanctuary in 1999. The old church has since been incorporated into the National Historic Site.
The renovations represent the second phase of a project to save the church. From 2001 to 2002, more than $1.2 million in federal and private funds were used to upgrade the church's infrastructure —- including fixing the roof and replacing the electrical system.
"The church is in very good condition for its age," said John S. Wood, facility manager for the King Historic Site. "There has been some termite and water damage, but overall it is good. Structurally sound."
Phase II focuses on things that people can see, such as the altar where Martin Luther King Sr. preached and the red and green tile that once adorned the fellowship hall in the basement.
Ebenezer went through a renovation in the 1950s and again in 1972. But it is unclear exactly when some changes were made and what prompted them. Workers uncovered charred wood in the walls of the fellowship hall, indicating a possible fire. They've found hidden stairwells, doorways that have been boarded up and a fire escape that people would have had to climb steps to reach.
Peter Holness, the project manager for Keystone Restorations, which is overseeing the project, said much of restoration will undo what was done in the 1970s, such as the baptismal pool.
"I can't say that what was done then was a good thing," said Holness. "Eventually, everything you add takes away from the originality of the church.
"And restoration is never easy," Holness said. "It is a tedious task, because this church stands for history."
As a deacon for decades, Jethro English has considered protecting Ebenezer his duty.
He picks up stray programs and litter from the church's pews —- and strongly encourages people to treat the church with respect.
"Don't come in here making a mess. If you have gum, put it in your pocket when you finish, don't leave it under the seat," said English, 94. "Take care of this house."
For him, the church is home and history.
"At Ebenezer, we are all a family. We believe in that," said English, who goes to church at the new Ebenezer across the street every Sunday. "We are a church for all nations."
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...a family you say!?...trying to forget about your OTHER son does not demonstrate that buddy.
Labels: black folks
Final Exam time...Black Women and rape
...It's that time of year again. For my "English" Survey course, the final exam consisted of 25 Identifications (that is, defining concepts with respect to critical theory and identifying and explaining examples from texts read in class) and an essay portion. We were told to select any text and identify as many concepts of critical theory as possible. Pretty simple eh?
My choice was Psychoanalytic Criticism. You know, the whole "Freudian" theories on the subconscious, specifically in regards to sexual frustrations, and dreams. The text I referenced is entitled, "There were times I thought I was crazy" by Vanessa Alleyne. It's a relatively small biographical commentary on the repeated rape of Vanessa Alleyne, by her stepfather. Young Vanessa even becomes pregnant by her stepfather at 13 years old. Vanessa takes the reader through the torture of the rapes, her mother's denial of the affiars, her life as a "troubled teen" in many group homes, and her ambitions to finally bring her sex offender to justice many years later.
Another issue facing the black community that has been swept under the rug time and time again is rape and sexual assault. Being that there are people close to me, also victims of sexual assault, rape, and daily harrassment, this is another issue I want to tackle. Why aren't they speaking out? Why aren't they seeking justice? Why don't they have the emotional support of their familes? Perhaps our communities have been ostracizing our victims. Perhaps we make them feel inhuman and inferior when we constantly objectify this behavior like there's no problem here.
"It was my fault...I shouldn't have gone to his house"...."maybe if I had worn something else..."
...we need to stop blaming ourselves. And sadly, becasue black women are being silent about this, its becoming more of an "acceptance" so to speak--almost like a "normalcy" fated to anyone of the double X chromosone--almost "expected" to validate womanhood. A mother goes, "listen and you listen good...take this here as an experience, and you be strong. You'll be aiight, momma went through the same thing". You "expect" the disrespect. "Expect" the inapporpriate touches on the playground. The rump feels while lining up to lunch. Remember, nobody likes a snitch. Little John is your age, he doesn't know any better. And come on, when Uncle Tim lingered just a little longer in the no-no zone, he was just trying to help you take a bath. And for the love of God, why are you worrying about it now? Nobody put a gun to your head, and forced you to strip. You deserve it. And besides, you should be over it by now--that was over 20 years ago.
...excuses excuses...one day, we shall overcome
Labels: black folks, social issues, women
"She should've kept her mouth shut!"
...continuing on my rant on the silencing of the black woman, I shall recall a recent conversation I had with one of my friends. We were talking about films and movies, and got on the topic of the movie "Crash". Well, there's a scene in the movie involving Terrance Howard, so if you haven't seen the film yet, I suggest you stop reading now.
last chance...
okay. I'll introduce you to what I call a "selective-hypocrite". S/he wants you to take his/her opinions as the gospel, but only when it invovles him/her winning the harmless debate. The film left a lot of things nclear, which I thought was great about the film, becasue it dealt with social issues and seemed like its main goal was to ingite discussion on these issues...so here goes:
The movie is filled with all types of stereotypes by the way...Terrance Howard's character is a successful black man/movie director with Uncle Tom tendancies. One of Terrance's actor employees gets caught "talking white", and Terrance's boss commanded the dude to start "talking black" or else.
I'll explain another scene...there's a racist white cop in the film, who just got a call on a stolen vehicle. Terrance and his wife are in an expensive SUV, leaving some sort of formal dinner-type thing I guess. Terrance's wife has on a nice dress, and Terrance is dressed professionally. Observably, the wife has had one too many cocktails, and is in the car babbling over nothing in the passenger seat. Coincidentally, the racist white cop sees Terrance ride by, and he snaps on his sirens (even though Terrance's car doesn't match the profile of the stolen car in the least bit). Terrance is cool about it...he pulls over...keeps his hands on the steering wheel. Racist cop peeks in...saw the wife on Terrances lap. Terrance asks what the problem is, and the cop came back with some smart aleck remark...asks Terrance where his insurance and stuff is. Terrance has it, and procedes to explain the situation...racist cop aint hearing it. Tells Terrance to step out of the car.
At this point, Terrance is visably pissed, kinda laughs it off a little bit, but does as he is told. The wife, also pissed, rolls her eyes...tells the cop that they had no justifyable cause to pull them over. The cops partner is now searching Terrance...has him all hemmed up on the police car. Humiliating the man basically. The wife asks the cops again, why did they pull them over? Terrance yells for the wife to shut up...that everything will be ok...that he'll handle it. The wife rolls her eyes...mumbles under her breath. The 2nd cop yells that Terrance doesn't have anything on him. Racist cop yanks Terrance's wife out of the car...kinda man handles her a bit, and slams her againt the car. Racist cop then procededs to sexually assault the wife...he sticks his hands up her dress and everything; in front of the other cop and Terrance. Racist cop threatens to throw them in jail on a few bullshit charges, and Terrance ends up apologizing, and begging the cop to let him and his wife be on their way. Later on, the wife is pissed at Terrance's "lack" of manhood...and concludes that Terrance should have done something more to "protect" the wife.
...now according to some, Terrance could've handled the situation perfectly if his wife would have kept her mouth shut like he suggested. In conclusion, because wifey ran her mouth, its her own fault, and she has no one to blame but herself. It is also suggested that the problem with black men/women social issues stem from the premise that black women need to "learn their place"...and that marriages will continue to result in divorce unless we do so.
...my take...a) the outcome would have possibly been different had the wife kept running her mouth...afterall, she was drunk, but in no way does this take away from her behavior. I beleive that if she was 100% sober...she still would've mouthed off to the cop....b)Since when does sexual assault become part of the job description of the police?...I'm pretty sure she was gonna sue their asses...and c)..really, people with the mindstate of the previous paragraph are obviously insecure (at least, that's how they're coming off to me)....they're also not taking into account all factors assocated with so-called "independent women".....they've intimidated by them on the notion that black women benefit the most from Affirmatiive Action issues, so we really have nothing to complain...
...uh...excuse me?
...watch the move "Dirty" with Cuba Gooding too...you'll get my drift
Labels: black folks, social issues, women
